Family
members and caregivers often have a very difficult time communicating with
someone with dementia. Many times, miscommunication actually creates negative
behaviors. It is important to remember that people who have dementia are not
being deliberately difficult. They can be reacting to stress or a frustrated
attempt to communicate with you. If you don’t know how to connect and
communicate with them, frustration will affect you as a caregiver and in them.
It is our job to provide comfort and to learn how to connect with each person
we meet who has any type of cognitive decline.
Dementia
robs the person of speech, dignity and so much more. We will add more to their
list of losses if we do not know how to communicate and connect.
As
caregivers, we must step into their world of dementia. Pulling them into our
reality will only create mistrust and potential behaviors. One common mistake
is in handling a resident who continuously asks for his mother. If we tell him
his mother is dead, we make him angry, depressed, upset and mistrustful.
However, if we step into the dementia world instead and say, “Your mother
called, and she will be here at 6:00 this evening,” this proves to cause less
stress and makes them more comfortable.
I
have had many people tell me that they could not possibly “lie” to the person.
My response is, “This is not about you. It’s about the resident.” When that
response is finally absorbed, staff and even family members become more
connected and at ease. The resident may continue to ask this question 20 times
a day, but when everyone provides the same answer, the resident can move on and
have a better day, participating in activities and interacting with others.
Tips to improve communication
·
Create a calm
environment. Take things slowly and smile whenever possible. If the resident
seems upset, show care and concern.
·
The tone of your
voice and your facial expression are very important, since residents pick up on
nonverbal cues easily. Try not to over-react to a situation.
·
Always assume
residents can understand what you are saying. Never talk about the person as
though he/she is not present. If you do, a behavior could occur and then you
have more issues to deal with.
·
Avoid quizzing
the person on names and dates. Not knowing the answer can be very embarrassing
for them. This quizzing also can increase distrust and the belief that you are
“testing” them. Often when we give a cue, the confused person can answer.
·
Draw their
attention by providing a gentle, reassuring touch on an arm or shoulder, or by
holding hands. When you provide touch, you demonstrate security, a caring
nature and your compassion.
·
Get down on
their level—sit next to them, bend down or kneel down so you are not hovering
over them.
·
Try lowering the
pitch of your voice. Do not shout but deepen your voice as it appears easier
for them to understand.
·
Make eye contact
and slow down. Do not talk too fast and do not rush them. This in itself will
create a behavior.
·
Observe the
resident’s body language and imagine what he/she might be feeling or trying to
express. Is she hungry, tired or in pain?
Using interactions to preserve dignity
·
Be reassuring
but never be condescending. Praise their actions but do not patronize. Appeal
to their sense of humor—but never laugh “at” them.
·
Do not argue or
correct their “facts.”
·
Do not speak for
them. So often, this occurs due to time constraints or with family present.
However, if we always speak for them, they will eventually cease speaking
altogether.
·
Give them
adequate time to respond. Dementia can slow down response time and being rushed
through a response or choice just causes additional frustration.
·
Do not do
everything for them. If they need assistance with activities of daily living,
find a way to keep them involved in the process. For example, if they can no
longer dress themselves, let them point to the clothes they want to wear. I do
not recommend showing an entire closet, but perhaps two articles of clothing that
they can even point to. This offers them choices and provides the feeling of
having some control over their lives.
·
Tell the
resident it is time for her shower instead of asking if she wants to take one.
Many times, you will get a negative answer if you ask a yes/no question. Be
sure to have everything ready for the shower or bath though ahead of time.
·
Do not treat
them like children or as if they are stupid. Giving them respect is crucial to
a successful connection.
·
If they become
angry, do not respond with anger. Be calm and try to get them involved in
something they enjoy, like music, a change of environment or a snack.
·
Take the time to
listen to them even if you cannot understand them. They still have something to
say, and they still want to express themselves and be heard. As dementia
progresses, speech becomes more and more difficult to understand.
We often
chastise the negative behaviors from those with dementia. In all actuality, we
are the ones instigating many of their frustrations and behaviors. If we learn
to step into the world of dementia and remember that our residents only live
“in the moment,” quality of life and care will increase for them every day.
Those days of frustration for you as a caregiver will be minimal.
SOURCE:iadvanceseniorcare,
Diane Mockbee
Maybe 'living in the moment' is something we should all think about doing as we miss so much of what is present in our daily lives and going unnoticed. Taking more time to listen, even when communication is really difficult and frustrating for all concerned, allowing someone the time they need without being pressured is essential. Learning to see things from their point of view is surely the way forward in improving interaction.